Friday, July 22, 2011

Update on Dad

So it is Day 5.  Still not sure what is going on.  Might be thyroid, infection, heart, kidney, liver, and I am sure might be something else. 
We are praying, stressed, worried, laughing, I am sure we are crying, what thoughts do you not have when you see a loved one in the hospital.  Today has been the most trying one of all.  Dad, went for fluid withdrawal and well his Blood Pressure bottomed out and he almost flat-lined.  I was not there but had a fear come over me that was so strong it was difficult to deal with. Made it to the hospital and he was doing some what better.  Most recent update he has been moved to ICU, so he can be monitored more closely.
The thing is, what does it all mean?  I do not question the man upstairs.  You know they always say God never puts more on you than you can handle. Agreed.  I am sure there is some hidden meaning behind it all.
Here is the thing.  I am not immune to hospital scares, close calls, etc.  But when it becomes someone so near and dear to your heart, someone that you know would do anything for you at anytime if needed, who has provided love and comfort for so many years, etc it becomes difficult to be apart of it all.  He was there for me when I was young and there for me now, but it is so difficult because he is my hero and right now I cannot help the hero get back up. He has fallen.. But there is one good thing about all those hero stories, they usually rise again.  I know God will give him the strength he needs to get back up and conquer the world.
I do not want to appear as selfish because I know so many have lost loved ones as well.  But I am slowly feeling the pain that you have, or have had.  My thoughts are with you and your families as you have dealt with or dealing with the same struggles that face me and my family now.  I have FAITH that GOD has a plan and he will watch over dad. 
We love you dad. 

Monday, July 18, 2011

The Mortal Man

I ask for your prayers as I blog with a heavy heart. 
Tonight I finally witnessed the weakness of a man that I hold dear to my heart.  At roughly 600pm I was contacted by Jetona as she let me know my father was being admitted to the hospital for the first time in his life.  At this time there are no known problems just more precautionary measures being taken by the doctors.
 As I drove home on I-65 the realization that my father is no immortal human being began to set in.  I finally realized that the man I grew up looking up to, the man I longed to be, the man I placed above others, the man I thought was Superman, is nothing more than just that, a human being, he is a man in the truest form. While I have known for all my life that he bleeds, he cries, he gets mad, is happy, gets hurt, sick, etc today brought to the forefront of my mind that at anytime, no matter how powerful, how magical, how indestructible, how unbreakable, how strong, or how super, the truth is we all are prone to the elements of this world (psychologically, physically, emotionally, etc).  My father is by no means perfect (I'll admit it), he is not indestructible, untouchable, he is not superhuman, but in my eyes he was/is.  But while sitting there watching him in that hospital bedroom I realized that one day this will end up possibly being his final destination, as God calls one of his children home.  I sat there and looked at a man who for my 28 years plus has never needed or asked anything from anyone, but I sat there and watched a man that I realized at some point is going to need someone.  My father is 51 years old and I finally saw in his eyes a small bit of fear (though he would never admit to it).  But through the fear, being the strong man that he is, he constantly told me and reassured me that it was going to be ok, that he was going to be fine.  I sat there and wondered how can he be so sure, I found myself telling him the things I have only seen in movies, Dad we need you home, you got to battle through whatever this is, etc.   For many of you who know me you know that I tend to have a big soft side, I tend to get somewhat emotional (ok really emotional).  But tonight I finally realized that he is not invincible, but that he is MORTAL! 
I leave you with the following verse:

Deuteronomy 31:6 ESV / 113 helpful votes

Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the Lord your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you.”